Dear Friday Five-0:
Perusing the memoir shelves at any bookstore, it seems like the non-fiction that sells these days is written by former drug addicts, children of alcoholic parents, refugees of war, etc. I think I have something to say in a memoir, but I don’t know if it would be interesting to anyone but me.
~Self-Obsessed
Dear Self-Obsessed:
Okay, I’m not a memoirist. I write fiction, just fiction. Short stories, novels, and Facebook statuses. I was going to hang my head, kick my toe around in the dirt and apologize for having the audacity to answer your irresistible question, but then I remembered: Oh yeah, I know what I’m talking about.
I READ memoirs.
Memoirs I Have Read IN THE LAST 3 MONTHS ALONE
And frankly, it doesn’t matter whether you’re writing fiction or nonfiction, poetry or autobiography. The short answer is: You had BETTER be interested in what you’re writing about. Because if you’re not interested in it, who else ever will be?
The first principle of good writing is BELIEF. Belief that you have something to say. Belief that what you have to say is important. Belief that your perspective on part of the world is new, interesting, will help other people. Thank goodness you have that belief already. Because without belief so strong it’ll make you levitate, you got nothing.
You Better Gosh-Darn Believe It
Because, however, I don’t write memoirs, I researched your question extensively by asking people on Twitter.
The first response was from @Van_O_Dudes (A van full of dudes). They said:
“@jenna_blum: It helps if it’s interesting. Just our opinion.”
What makes a memoir interesting? Does it have to be sensational to be salable? Do you have to be a war orphan? A disgraced-CEO-turned-Starbucks-counterboy? A recovering pyromaniac clown? Betty White?
I don’t think so. On the contrary, whenever I’m perusing the shelves at my local bookstore (REAL SHELVES full of REAL BOOKS at a REAL BOOKSTORE), whenever I see the latest autobiographical offering from a) an alcoholic b) an alcoholic child of alcoholics c) an alcoholic child of alcoholics who used to be pyromaniac clowns d) a celebrity struggling with addiction e) a celebrity recovering from addiction f) a celebrity with a sudden mental illness g) a right-wing Republican, I tend to go like this:
WhatEVER
and go the other way.
That’s just my tendency as a reader. Please forgive me if you are any of the above, are Betty White, or are related to Betty White in any way and love her.
I just don’t like gimmicks. And to me, sensationalism of any sort is a gimmick. True, there are people with real poignant stories about terrible things: war, illness, terror, surviving grievous tragedy. My hat is off to them if they can tell their story and tell it well. But above all, just give me a good story about how people live any day. Give me Anne Tyler, who can write a whole novel about a husband and wife taking a car trip and not make you want to plunge a fork into your eyes–instead she makes you care about these people. Give me Stewart O’Nan, brave enough to tackle what happens to the staff when a Red Lobster closes. Give me Joan Didion, writing about her derangement in the year after her husband’s death. William Styron on the depression he survived after he inadvertently quit drinking. Wendy McClure on her obsession with Little House on the Prairie.
Little House on the Prairie? Really? And not even Melissa Gilbert writing about it but some ordinary chick? Who cares about her LHoP obsession?
By the time you finish reading, you do.
Because these writers find the extraordinary in the ordinary.
Because they know that really, there is no such thing as ordinary. Even the most ordinary-seeming person has a story.
The question is: what’s yours?
To answer this, you will need to answer this extremely important question: So what?
The So-What is what will separate your story from the literally millions of other stories out there. The So-What is your context, your guiding principle. How do you sieve what’s interesting from your life? What particular facet of it should make us want to read about you? What’s your So-What?
As freelance editor Kate Kennedy said, “Everyone loves memoir, but no one wants to read your journal…It comes down to writing, voice, and the ability to craft a cohesive narrative/arc out of the lived experience.”
Arc of the lived experience? How do you get on this arc?
An example.
When we were discussing his potential memoir, my partner said, “Okay. Let’s say I’m dead, and I have a book contract with a publisher in New York, and you’re an editor for that publisher, and you fly out here to find the garage packed with banker boxes. And in each box there’s another part of my life: I’ve been to all the fifty states. I worked in Hollywood. I worked for Larry Flynt. I dated lots of different women from different backgrounds. I’ve chronicled over 20 hurricanes and over 100 tornadoes. I’m the single child of a single mom. How would you organize my life story?”
I said: “You worked for Larry Flynt?”
He said: “Let’s stick to the program.”
I said: “How many hundreds of women did you date?”
He said: “This is a hypothetical.”
I said: “Okay, fine. Well, since you’re DEAD, I’d choose the angle that most interests me and let that be my orgainzing principle. Me being me, I’m most interested in the psychological angle: your being the single son of a single mom, how that shaped you, how your relationship with her shaped your clearly extensive and colorful adventures with many, many, many women, one of whom–one can only assume–undoubtedly caused your untimely demise.”
My partner said: ”But what about the weather?”
I said: “WHO CARES? See, that’s the thing. YOU think your whole life is interesting, and in fact, probably most of it is. But you can’t just write about your whole life. Everybody has a life. So what? Who cares? What part of it are you going to pull out and use as the backbone, for your story? What part of your life are you most interested in sharing with other people? What can you teach us through writing about it?”
He said: “Oh.”
The last piece of advice comes from Erika Imranyi, Senior Editor at Harlequin/Mira–also, when at Dutton/Penguin, the editor for my second novel, THE STORMCHASERS. She wrote, “Memoirs come in all shapes and sizes but voice is a must.”
The arc is the So-What. The voice is YOU. It’s the way experience is refracted into words; the way each of us, given the same experience, will choose different and specific words to express it. Be aware of your characteristic style, the way you put words together that’s as unique as a thumbprint. How would you describe yours? Can you list ten things that distinguish your voice? Are you wry? Terse? Funny? What are your tics? What are you best at? Similes? Dialogue? Description? Semicolons?
And then, just be you. You’re already on your way. After all, the honesty in your question attracted me enough to make me jump to answer it–even though I’m not a memoir writer.
What more encouragement do you need?
Write on!
Jenna,
Terrific, useful, honest, oh, so brutally honest post about what it takes to get your memoir to grab attention. I like that we don’t just have to be drug addicts, abused, or whatever, but that we have to have a voice.
Your post depressed and motivated me. Thank you, I think.
Linda
Dear Linda,
Good gracious! I certainly didn’t mean to depress you but rather to encourage. I feel quite sure you have both a voice and a story. And isn’t it nice to know you don’t *have* to be Amanda Knox to get your story out there–instead, as both agent and editor have insisted, find something interesting to say and say it well.
I know it’s the hardest thing to do to, to provide a good story, well told. But with encouragement, hard work, belief and good editors, we can do it.
Thank you for reading, and happy writing!
Jenna.
Dear J,
Thank you for this most helpful and entertaining essay.
And thank you for THE STORMCHASERS.
Just finished it and loved it!
K
Dear K,
Thank YOU for reading this post and taking the time to reply! And thank you for your generous comments about THE STORMCHASERS. I’m honored to know you read and enjoyed it. (It’s a little eerie replying to somebody named “K”–or at least nicknamed “K”–a la the heroine of that novel!)
Happy reading,
Jenna. xo
Thanks for this great post about memoir. Now how do I get you to read mine: Leaving the Hall Light On: A Mother’s Memoir of Living with Her Son’s Bipolar Disorder and Surviving His Suicide (Lucky Press 2011)? It has had rave reviews posted on Amazon. I’d sure like to get your thoughts on it.
I may not be famous as Joan Didion, but I told a raw, truthful story that some folks say they couldn’t put down.
Thanks so much.
Dear Madeline,
I’m so glad you liked this post! Thank you for reading, taking the time to write, and telling me about your memoir. Given that my novel THE STORMCHASERS features a sister trying to care for a brother who’s bipolar, your LEAVING THE HALL LIGHT ON is obvious choice reading for me. I ordered it from IndieBound and will add it to the galleys, memoirs and novels on my beside table.
Wishing you good reading–and writing!
Wonderful post! I love to read memoir but I’m always looking at “Ok, is this person a writer or has this person had a crazy life?” You can have the story but if you can’t express it I don’t want to read it. I also write memoir but do have that crazy life story that a lot of people might think “enough of these!” so I know that what has to distinguish me is my writing and the unique way I tell my story…when I do.
Hi, Stories: That’s a great point! Those writers who *do* have crazy life stories might be thinking, Oh, no, this is TOO crazy. Is everyone sick of crazy stories? Will readers run the other way? Goodness, how many ways writers can beat themselves up. As my friend Alex Glass, superlative agent, says: “It’s all in the execution.” Including the So-What.
Thanks for reading, happy writing–and write on!
xo,
Jenna.
Fantastic perspective on memoir. I love hearing what readers of memoir think as opposed to writers of memoir–that you’re an author of fiction gives your comments even more weight.
I admit I’m brought into a memoir more easily by a good hook, but that way does lead to disappointment now and again. I’ve trudged through more than one memoir just because the subject was so interesting when the writing was not.
I agree that voice counts above all. I’m no celebrity, but I’ve written a memoir and recently signed with an agent. My story doesn’t deal with abuse, alcoholism, addiction or hall of fame bad parenting. So how was I able to get an agent? She fell in love with my voice and thus, my story. Amazing how simple an equation that can sometimes be.
Brock, first and foremost, congratulations! What’s the title of your memoir? Will you post a buy link to it when your agent sells it? We are all curious and want to read! (Plus the aspiring memoirists among us want to see this fine example of voice being compelling enough to sell a book, as opposed to a childhood being abused by alcoholic clown vampires etc.)
Actually *you* give my comments weight, not my writing fiction. As a fiction writer, I basically have license to talk out of my @$$ most of the time and say it’s the truth. (& I’m eternally grateful to readers who are kind enough not to point this out.) As a reader, I have a little more credit when it comes to this column. But somebody who reads AND writes memoir–well, you have ridden to my aid, my friend. Thank you.
And again, congratulations! Write on!
Hey Jenna,
Wow, you asked to know more about my book… is there a greater question you can ask a writer? Doubtful.
The title is “Raised By a Dead Man” and while it doesn’t have any of the usual memoir or coming-of-age markers as you so succinctly described in your excellent post, it does involve a fair amount of what some people call tragedy but I call “awesome stuff that happened way back when.” But, as I said, it was the voice that sold my agent and I believe her because I live in perhaps the most boring city in California and I’ve never served time in an Italian prison. We’re not all that lucky. Further details can be found on the “Raised By a Dead Man” page at the top of my site.
When I have a link to share to an actual book to be purchased, not only will that be a dream come true but you can bet I’ll be posting it anywhere and everywhere. Thanks for asking about it!
Just discovered this blog this weekend and I look forward to reading more. Keep up the great work.
Hi, Brock:
As a social media ho, I have to scold you for not posting the link to your site HERE. Please post it so we can all visit you and track the publication process of RAISED BY A DEAD MAN. I’m so looking forward to reading it–since as you know, I don’t write memoirs or play a memoirist on TV but I am helpless to stop reading them.
So glad you discovered Grub Daily. It is a writers’ paradise of information and support, as is its parent organization Grub Street Writers.
Enjoy! & write on–
Jenna.
Hi Jenna,
I always feel bad about taking advantage in someone else’s blog, but you’re absolutely right. I mentioned it, I should have linked to it. Thanks for the scolding!
In fact, I’ll do better than link you to my site (http://www.brockheasley.com), here’s a few links to posts relevant to my memoir:
This is the Raised By a Dead Man “about” page, with synopsis: http://brockheasley.com/raised-by-a-dead-man/
Here’s my blog on what exactly a memoir is and why I wrote one: http://brockheasley.com/2012/01/24/what-is-a-memoir-and-why-i-wrote-one/
And here’s my blog announcing when I signed with an agent (which originally appeared on a different site, before my current site was created<==why there's no comments): http://brockheasley.com/2011/12/08/big-announcement-i-have-accepted-an-offer-of-representation/
Would love to know what you think!
Jenna, 5/2/12
I have published one memoir book (Getting Hooked on Memoirs) and a second (Family Cars Trigger Memoirs) is to be available in the next few weeks. At the start of each book, I share my approach to memoir writing, and I’m pleased that my views on memoirs parallel the thoughts of William Zinsser, noted author and teacher of New York. I am pleased to call him a friend. Your viewers can see my website for details, but I suggest that they think small and look at each memoir as a single piece of the total life puzzle. If they select the life topics that most interest them and they tell each story exactly as they remember it, that constitutes their best memoir effort. Since the happenings they share should be truthful, I suggest that the memoirs not be written as an effort to please an audience or give them what you think they want to hear. Being an abused drug addict may sell books, but it also has caused some authors to substitute fiction writing for honest memoirs.
I enjoy your work, Jenna.
Ken Shook
Hi, Dr. Shook: I love this commentary on memoir! Thank you for sharing your thoughts and experience. I find especially helpful the line “….think small and look at each memoir as a single piece of the total life puzzle.” That’s exactly what I was trying to say, in about 5000 more words, about choosing an organizing principle. Trust Zinsser to inspire such thoughts. When I was teaching at Boston University, he was my core curriculum.
Happy writing and all success to you! Thank you for reading.
Yours,
Jenna.
Jenna, 5/10/12
I spoke to Bill Zinsser several days ago, and he appreciated hearing your kind remarks. His poor vision has forced him to move his office into his home.
Fond regards,
Ken Shook
Dr. Shook, I’m honored that anything I had to say made it to Bill Zinsser. I’m so sorry to hear about his vision. If it makes him feel any better, my office is already in my home! We will all work away in our respective houses.
Yours,
Jenna.
This article is the best. You have a new fan! I can’t wait for the next update, saved!
Thank you so much, for reading this piece and for your kind words! I’m wishing you great luck finding your So-What or developing it if you already have!